Archive for the ‘classics’ Category

Musea #200 The PEOPLE Issue – all 100 pages

January 27, 2017

For those who did not get one of the few copies by mail, here is the entire 200th issue of Musea the PEOPLE issue on my website.

Many of you are in it and there are lots of gossip and celebrities – I name names such as all those listed in this teaser page.

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Reader, you will find all this inside and more:

Why did shock jock Russ Martin tie me to a chair with duct tape? Why did Frank Zappa call KNON while I was working there?
Which Musea cover was printed upside down?
Why was my $1,000,000 Collage at 500 X titled Janet Kutner Writes Daffy Reviews. Where was the best deep dish in Deep Ellum?
Why was the Inwood Theater gassed that night?
Why couldn’t the TV repairman hook Stanley Marcus up to cable? Did Musea find a photo of Cy Twombly developing his style on a blackboard? What was in that Musea Stand Gift Box every Christmas at the Inwood? What photo from Charlton Heston’s wife, did Musea run on one of our Covers? Is one of my zine friends perhaps the Best Painter around?
Why did Dallas Luxury Magazine run a full page picture of me? What were Inwood Box Office Concerts?
What did Drive in Movie Critic, Joe Bob Briggs say about Musea? What happened when H. L. Hunt wanted to buy a photograph of himself for $10? Why was I forced out of the Inwood Theater after working there for 24 years? What did Maximum Rock n Roll say about the AACA logo?
Where did the Esquire Theater’s Neon Painter’s Palette end up? Which unassuming Dallas writer/artist wrote the next Pascal’s, Pensees? How did Musea get in the center of a Dallas Morning News, Dallas Observer feud. Who praised Mary Parker for sculptural reliefs from plumbing parts? Which 12 By 12 musician recently had a single of his, sell on Ebay for $887.77? What was Joe Christ like in person?
What musicians recorded a song of mine, then went on to national fame as a trio. What does Musea know about Slack?
When does the Midnight Movie start?
Why did my fellow workers ask David Byrne for his autograph for me? Which music engineer did I work with that had a Gold Record on her office wall? What happened when a stage hand moved Ray Charles mike?
Was Morgan Fairchild beautiful and friendly in person?
Who seemed to need more approval, Joseph Heller, or Nora Ephron? What guitar accessory does Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, and Hunkasaurus have in common? What did Mickey Rooney say to me as he passed by at NorthPark?
Who are the five, Frida and Diego type couples, where both partners are fine artists? Did Musea find a photograph of Cinderella?
Why did I go to Freddie King’s house?
Who stole my zines at the first Art Revolution Festival – I really want to know! Who was Sweater Vest, The Crazy Nurse, or the Popcorn Lady?
Why won’t Willie Nelson’s lawyers let him hear my song, The Ballad of Willie Nelson? Why did the lawyers from Warner Brothers write me?
Why did I get a check from Greg Abbot for $13.88?
When was the last moment of modern art?
Which local guitar hero was sitting in my seat at the Paul McCartney concert? And finally; how did this 8 page Musea 200th issue turn into Tom’s Tome?

Musea Zine Celebrates #200 Issues, With an Underground History of Dallas (Last 24 Years)

January 14, 2017

The 24 year old Dallas arts and media zine, MUSEA, has just released it’s special 200th issue (Not the usual 8 pages but 100 pages this time).

Here is a celebration of 200 indie artists featured in Musea, And an underground history of Dallas arts over the last 25 years.

Reader, YOU WILL FIND THE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE:

Why did shock jock Russ Martin tie me to a chair with duct tape? Why did Frank Zappa call KNON while I was working there?
Which Musea cover was printed upside down?
Why was my $1,000,000 Collage at 500 X titled Janet Kutner Writes Daffy Reviews. Where was the best deep dish in Deep Ellum?
Why was the Inwood Theater gassed that night?
Why couldn’t the TV repairman hook Stanley Marcus up to cable? Did Musea find a photo of Cy Twombly developing his style on a blackboard? What was in that Musea Stand Gift Box every Christmas at the Inwood? What photo from Charlton Heston’s wife, did Musea run on one of our Covers? Is one of my zine friends perhaps the Best Painter around?
Why did Dallas Luxury Magazine run a full page picture of me? What were Inwood Box Office Concerts?
What did Drive in Movie Critic, Joe Bob Briggs say about Musea? What happened when H. L. Hunt wanted to buy a photograph of himself for $10? Why was I forced out of the Inwood Theater after working there for 24 years? What did Maximum Rock n Roll say about the AACA logo?
Where did the Esquire Theater’s Neon Painter’s Palette end up? Which unassuming Dallas writer/artist wrote the next Pascal’s, Pensees? How did Musea get in the center of a Dallas Morning News, Dallas Observer feud. Who praised Mary Parker for sculptural reliefs from plumbing parts? Which 12 By 12 musician recently had a single of his, sell on Ebay for $887.77? What was Joe Christ like in person?
What musicians recorded a song of mine, then went on to national fame as a trio. What does Musea know about Slack?
When does the Midnight Movie start?
Why did my fellow workers ask David Byrne for his autograph for me? Which music engineer did I work with that had a Gold Record on her office wall? What happened when a stage hand moved Ray Charles mike?
Was Morgan Fairchild beautiful and friendly in person?
Who seemed to need more approval, Joseph Heller, or Nora Ephron? What guitar accessory does Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, and Hunkasaurus have in common? What did Mickey Rooney say to me as he passed by at NorthPark?
Who are the five, Frida and Diego type couples, where both partners are fine artists? Did Musea find a photograph of Cinderella?
Why did I go to Freddie King’s house?
Who stole my zines at the first Art Revolution Festival – I really want to know! Who was Sweater Vest, The Crazy Nurse, or the Popcorn Lady?
Why won’t Willie Nelson’s lawyers let him hear my song, The Ballad of Willie Nelson? Why did the lawyers from Warner Brothers write me?
Why did I get a check from Greg Abbot for $13.88?
When was the last moment of modern art?
Which local guitar hero was sitting in my seat at the Paul McCartney concert? And finally; how did this 8 page Musea 200th issue turn into Tom’s Tome?

100 copy limited edition.

Birthday of Elvis and his song Treat Me Nice is in the middle of the Music Change

January 8, 2016

Today is the birthday of Elvis Presley and he is still relevant to music. His song Treat Me Nice, is leading the Texas Video Showdown a video challenge of a music industry that is down to 5 pop stars. Vote – go to the link and vote thumbs up. Join a thousand others.

People should know that one indie musician, representing all musicians except a few pop stars, has challenged the 5+ pop stars to the Texas Video Showdown, and Swift, Perry, Beyonce, Bieber, 1D, etc. even with all their fans, are loosing so far. Readers that want a big music change – please vote for the thousands of good musicians that are not one of the five or so sound alike pop stars. if you know a great musician, they are probably out of the music business no matter how good they are.

The indie musician, Hunkasaurus, has purposely made the worst video ever – he didn’t even comb his hair – with simple solid fun music to challenge the over produced generic corporate music of the sound alike pop stars. Help him by voting thumbs up on youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZvMa2f33Wc

Piccola (a Christmas Story – from the Musea Vaults)

December 24, 2015

Piccola

(Musea version of a poem by Celia Thaxter.
Note it was the custom for St. Nick to leave a present in the child’s shoe. ) …

Poor Mother, poor Father, house maid and share cropper
and both pockets empty, except for due bills.
What can they get their little girl for Christmas.
“Piccola! Piccola! Love of my life!”

Father wrings hands and mother cries.
The bells ring carols as the family walks to church.
A snowflake falls on Piccola’s nose.
The sky turns from grey to deepest pure blue
As they enter the nave with the other parishioners.

All three singing from hard wood pews.
Piccola’s mouth makes a big “O” on her vowels.
But her mind’s trying to see, not the notes, but the future – Trying to see what would fill up her shoe,
Trying to see by one dim candle.

Parents in whispers, decide it’s best
To tell her her present is not here yet,
Not denied, it’s only delayed …
And drop into slumber as they pray
‘Perhaps by January and Jesus’ grace …

Morning Sun peeps through the fluttering shades,
The window cracked open gets abundant free air.
Piccola’s eyes widen as she remembers,
And before the cock crows tumbles to her shoe.
And their shivering, a refugee from the cold.
A tiny beige and half asleep sparrow.

Picolla feeds it – they have crumbs a plenty,
And bounds to her parents, “Look what St. Nicholas left me!
It’s the best gift a girl could get”
I’ve decided to christen it Picollete
And all eyes glisten with tears of joy.

Rip Van Revolutionary – (Corporate update of the Washington Irving original)

August 25, 2015

RIP VAN REVOLUTIONARY

It was a cold blistering winter day – near enough to spring but not there yet – hard on us poor writers. I opened the lock to my 1 room efficiency apartment, shook off the chill and unpacked the groceries. The last bag held a cardboard box , 12- pack of diet coke. I emptied the cans into the refrigerator and then noticed something left inside the carton – a small booklet. “What’s this?” I read, ‘A special excerpt from ___ ___ by ___ ___ published by G. P. Putnam’s Sons ” on the cover of the booklet, and “Free Inside! An Exciting Excerpt From ___ ___’s ___ ___. Collect All Six Book Excerpts ___,___,___,___,___,___.” on the cover of the carton.

“Corporate trash writing! Even in my diet sodas! And I starve! Arhhhhhhhhh….”

I fainted, dropping to the floor, hitting my head a glancing blow on the open refrigerator door. Down, down, down into utter unconsciousness…

I wake up. The refrigerator light has burned out. It’s filled with jars of dust I have a ten year beard on my face and breath to match. I look at my computer for the time. It’s blinking ‘January 1, 1900…’

I think to myself ‘I’ll go to my just-around-the-corner favorite Mom & Pop used bookstore – good friends, warm fire, smart book-lovers. They’ll help me make sense of all this.

But on approach I notice that the little bookstore is gone and replaced by a super-market looking “Mega-Books” store.

I walk through the security check columns and approach the man at the counter. He’s about 19. His name tag reads, “My name is Baree. I’m your megabooks manager. Our motto is ‘The Write Stuff’.

“Can you tell me what day it is?”
“Day to fill out our frequent readers discount card application. But first let’s make the tour of our megasaurus store. Anything you’d like to see?”
“Well…uh…now that you mention it I lovvvvvve books and especially literature. I used to come here for all the great masterpieces. I bet a store this big has every classic ever written! You see I’ve seemed to be away (or fallen down a rabbit hole, or been stranded on some deserted isle or been playing 9 pins with mountain folk) so I’m a visitor here.”
“We have books in Spanish. Si!”
“No, I’m not Spanish….well let’s continue.”
“Over here is where the lit used to clutter the aisles. Look, now we have a Starbucks – clean and shiny – shiny”
“I see what seems to be another in store cafe next to it. What’s that?”
“A Starbucks Jr. We cater to kids!”
“Speaking of kids, where’s the children’s classics?”
“Back here. We have ALL the greats.”
“‘Sleeping Beauty’ ? “Cinderella”? “Peter Pan”?
“You bet – every single one of those in our Disney movie tie-in sections. While I’m walking you back, let me point out our main sections. (step step) Here’s the “History Section”. It has the full ‘Ted Turner Presents’ line by CNN. (step step) a full ‘Psychology ‘ section. Look here’s that all time classic of bringing up babies:”
“Dr. Spock?”
“No. Michael Eisner Presents: Child Rearing for kids with big black ears. (step step) . Here’s ‘Mysteries’ Everybody loves mysteries and our section is the best in town. It has the ENTIRE ‘Murder She Wrote’ and ‘Diagnosis Murder’ lines. Every book in each series. Can you believe it?”
“Any ‘Colombo’? Ha! Ha!”
“Ethnic books are no joke sir. We have bookshelf after bookshelf of women, Black, Hispanic, and Asian studies in our “Velveeta Series” in the back of the bus, so to speak. Way back in that corner. See where all the dust is?
“Oh look this is your lucky day. We have an author signing and today is the FIRST day of the ‘Unasig 2000’ computer signer. Watch how quickly the line moves.”
A line of people clutching the hardback version of the authors book (Yellow Poet?) advance to the machine and one at a time open up their copies to the title page, place it face down on the glass, type in their name plus any sentiment – ‘to Elsie with love’ . Then the author pushes a black button and …
“Viola! The book is signed! Isn’t that just … so… cost worthy? (And don’t tell anyone but we can punch the button after he leaves too).”
“And here is our magazine rack, our pride and joy when it comes to selection. Look at all these choices! Five aisles worth! The other bookstores ( Eurasia and Eastasia), can only salivate when they hear about our full line (just like that Russian Dancer’s dog).”
“We have…drum roll please… the full WB line: there’s ‘Time’, ‘People’,’The Time-People Daily’, ‘Time Life’ for the older readers, ‘Time Sassy’ for the teens – even ‘People Pooh Jr.” for the rugrats. And that’s just the start. Look at all the other choices. And the shelves are so shiny too!”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Everyone that walks in our store automatically joins our ‘BMG Book Club’ , ( world’s only one left). It’s the German publisher’s book club with the motto: “You WILL Join!”
“Well sir, that’s about it for the tour.”
“What about ‘zines ? You know, zeeeeeenes.”
“That’s a 4 letter word sir!” Four letter plural I might add! Shame on you! but …. ( now he whispers in a french-postcards-under-a-sooty-raincoat voice): I can see by your dress you’re a man who likes the unusual. May I suggest our most outre section, (his voice drops even lower) for only our most adult, open minded readers – those who are very much into experimenting with the extreme edge of things. Heh? Heh?”
“That’s me.”
“Over here… behind this heavy red velvet curtain, and under these brown paper wrappers are the… (he stops talking and looks furtively to both the left and to the right) “Writers-who-haven’t-been-on-Oprah-yet” line of novels. Go ahead – feed your fantasy!”

And I did. I hit him in the head with a bowling pin – Zen – instant enlightenment – whoosh!!!

I woke up- back in my bed. 1999? Had the dream spirits done it all in 1 night?
I ran to the window and opened it. A youngster was walking by. I yelled:
“What year is it?”
“Why 1999 sir.”
“Do you know the bookseller in the next street but one, at the corner?”
“I should hope I did.”
“A well read boy,” said I. “Do you know if they’ve sold the prize edition of “Orlando Furiosa” by Ariosto?”
“The one as big as me?” returned the boy.

The end.

Photo 1


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